In Washington This Week: I seek refuge from world events in waxy celebrities.

Bill Clinton Waxes Strong in Spirit at Madame Tussaud's

My week in Washington is going something like this: trying to integrate what greets me every morning on the news. You know, the on-going horror in Japan, and the unspeakable cruelty in Lybia, and a stupid presidential candidate wanna-be who thinks the Battle of Lexington, one of the most important events in American history, was fought in New Hampshire.

I'm struggling to mix all that in with my take on what a generally fine world we live in and how pleased I am with things and come to grips with the rotten luck of some of my fellow sentient Earthlings.

What to do? Yesterday, as I was making my meandering way along the busy sidewalks and through the statued parks and squares down to Union Station (seventy pounds of 22-carat gold leaf in the ceiling!), I happened by Madame Tussaud's wax works. I stopped by expecting the worst and the worst would be people who looked like they were made out of wax. Like Bill Clinton. They got him about right, though, but not Hillary. They nailed Jimmy Carter--perfect,

 but made a hash of Lincoln, thus:

 They had Brittany Spears hanging upside down with her breasts heaving (Really, they pump air into them. Oops, I got her all turned around. But, she's got her hang ups as we all know).

 and they put Opra on a diet, removing at least 100 pounds of the famous flab, so:

Johnny Depp, well, he was okay, and he did catch me off guard with his eyes. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, spun around, and just for an instant thought he was--well, not made of wax.

Nearby to Mr. Depp was Madonna, sprawled on a couch. Wait, is that Madonna or just some woman who doesn't really look very much like Madonna?

And maybe, even if you were drunk enough, would you think this looks like Bob Dylan? Really? What about the hair?



The eeriest of all, though, were the old presidents, the ones we never saw on television and didn't know what to expect. Like this one here--but I can't remember who it was now--oh, yeah, James Buchanan, I think. He spooked me, though. The eyes again, I guess.

But I did get to chat up Barack and Michelle. Boy, are they tall. An impressive couple.